Andrea (adgam_ga) wrote in longing2bemommy,

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AF came today on CD32. I am so profoundly sad that there are just no words anymore to describe how my heart hurts... but I know that I don't need the words for this community because you all understand my feelings.

How do I keep going on? How do I just keep trying month after month? Why does it have to be so easy for some women and so hard for me? What's wrong with me?

I use my fertility monitor religiously, I make love on all the high fertility and peak fertility days (and even one or two days after those just to be sure), I drink white grapefruit juice, I take Robitussin cough medicine, I lay still with my pelvis raised for 20 minutes or more after sex, I took all the blood tests and chromosome tests only to get negative results... and still no pregnancy! I just don't get it. Why can't I get pregnant? Why can't I carry the pregnancy to full term?

I don't know. I'm starting to believe that its never going to happen. I've lost hope. That's pretty bad.
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