Welp according to that we are officially infertile. Four times over.
Hi, My name is April. My husband (30) and I (23) have been married for 4 years, four unprotected, hoping for baby years. We have tried timing it, however my cycle is very unreliable. And he has a very small amount of sperm, too little for a count, the lab told him so. He went for a count when we decided, two years ago, to seek medical support. He was ashamed after that and we've since decided to try to do this on our own...until it's obvious that we can't, if it comes to that.
Hope is not lost, however. The battle has just began. My eggs are in boot camp. They are doing push-ups and jogging miles. They will acheive success. Each month one egg approaches the falopian tube fully clad in armor and determined that she is the one. Sometimes she chickens out tho, and stays in the ovary...screwing everything up for everyone. Her fellow eggs all support her and tell her that she'll definately make it. However she knows that as soon as she's passed the point of no return they will all talk smack about her because they want to be the one..."Oh don't worry, she'll never make it." Sometimes she'll go anyway. If she is lucky the sperms are half way up the tube already. She seeks the most active ones. She knows they'll put up a fight, but they are her ticket to success. She will swoop down on the right one and begin her ticket into the real world. The active ones however aren't as plentiful as she heard. If she is lucky enough to find one he runs from her at high speed. And sometimes there is no sperm at all, for her entire term. 4 whole days. Her entire chance...wasted. She sits and crys as she is flushed out like yesterdays garbage.
Meanwhile somewhere inside of Him:
A new boss is in town. The sperms will try to revolt. But they won't win. This boss is determined to up production and send more out on field assignments. He is going to whip those couch potatoe sperms into shape, whether they like it or not. He can only hope that the more he sends out the higher the chance for success. He's decided the best method is to convince those lazy bums that the long walk down the dark hall is alot better than his torture. He will succeed.
I'm doing research and finding all the best ways to enhance fertility naturally. I gave Lee a long list of things to eat, he doesn't like any of them. Sorry pal, tough titty. We're going to get some sort of ovulation kit. I found this one online for thirty bucks that is a tiny microscope, you spit in it and you can see if a certain thing, that indicates ovulation is there. I've always wanted a microscope, heh. I'm still doing research on my stuff...haven't found anything too informative yet. But I'm ready to give a good try. I also found a form of pregnancy test that is 2 dollars a strip, and they are claimed to be extremely acurate. (Both the stips and the spit microscope can be found at the link above.) When we get going I plan on buying a crap load of those so I don't feel bad testing as soon as I wonder. I can afford 2 dollars a month.
If anyone has any fertility advice, please share. Like whatever, if you heard that eating avacodos during a full moon when there is a chill in the air causes increased fertility, please share. Any websites that you know of for my own research would be super helpful too.
If after a year of the right herbs, food, exercises, timing, and testing don't work...then we are going to seek out the medical community for help. But really I'd rather not have to take that route. Just seems weird to be a holistic mother with a test tube baby. But we will do what we have to in order to reach this goal.